I have been praying since last year about my future and God’s will upon my life yet it seemed as if God has not been answering any of it. I would constantly ask Him what is wrong or even check my heart and ways if I did something not pleasing to His eyes. Sometimes I do not know what and how to pray anymore, I would just close my eyes and nothing would come out of my mouth and my mind is wandering elsewhere. How blessed Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah, Joseph, Job and the rest of our fore fathers must have been for God literally speaks to them if not through the prophets and dreams.
There were days that I grew distant and at times forgot to speak to Him. I would only read His word and write on my journal whenever I feel downcast or in the middle of emotional turmoil. I became lazy with my quiet time and devotion but then I realized that I have to learn how to wait patiently. Amidst those waiting moments I learned that I have to be joyful and grateful.
Adding fuel to the fire, now that I have these things at present that fits 75% of my prayer request; I once again complained and nagged Him about it. Is this really the one that He wills for me, yet, why only now? Besides, I still have that 25% unanswered prayer. I am still not confident if this is really according to what God wants me to be.
This morning, when I looked upon God’s word, I was in awe and felt ashamed of my actions. It read:
“God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end”
Psalm 48:14
He is indeed immutable, the ever unchanging God. Who am I to complain and to doubt His capacity and power? Who am I to compare the past and the now? Who am I to reason with Him? And who am I to be so pushed-over to Him?
I am too stubborn as a child of God and if I haven’t known God as a compassionate and forgiving Father—I would have been into disciplinary actions for the nth time. I am really blessed that I have a God and a Father like Him—when I throw tantrums at Him he is gentle enough to remind me to wait in His time and that it is not my will but His.
God, I am not god but You are and so thank you for teaching me once again to trust in Your name; you have all the because to all my whys and the answers to all my questions.
As Abraham Lincoln once said:
“I am satisfied that when the Almighty wants me to do or not to do any particular thing, he finds a way of letting me know”.
To God be all the glory!
