Loosing Patience

I tend to be impatient even with little things now a days. Not long ago, i can still enjoy and have fun while waiting and not loosing my patience at all.

Whenever i wait in long lines, i would keep myself busy by reading things within my sight or playing games on my mobile phone. Whenever i would wait for someone and even if it would take longer than an hour or two, reading books or sending SMS would keep away my idle time. Whenever i am in dire need of answers from God, i would still pray joyfully and with gladness in my heart. There is always joy in waiting.

People do change, and not always for the better. I am now becoming an impatient and control freak. Lately, training a new hire seemed impossible for me not to loose my patience. Simple and basic instructions or procedures are asked repeatedly. I might say, simple things are sometimes the most complicated things to understand and follow. Learning fundamentals or the foundation of a one element or area of learning would aid any person when faced by cerebrally challenging situations. Once grounded on the basic tenets, it would after all make the job easier and less mind-boggling.

I was reminded by a verse in the Bible found on 1 Corinthians 13:4 which says" Love is patient, love is kind".

This is also backed strongly by this straight to the heart quote:

"When tempted to lose patience with someone, stop and think how patient God has been with you".

True enough, i must say, i have to be patient at all times. And when tempted, i have to put my feet on that person's shoes and view it on God's perspective.

The "F" word

I am not fond of cursing or using an irreverent language much more of directing it to someone. Profanity as a form of expression is and will never be glorifying to God. Earlier today, a colleague has just uttered that magic word directly to me. I must admit it bruised my heart and ego. Such abusive behavior or impolite expression should never be tolerated. I smiled after hearing the word yet as i turned my back away from her, i felt humiliated and crushed in Spirit. What is it of me that makes people around me treat that way? I remember the Law of Garbage trucks that people are carrying emotional garbages and unconsciously dumps them to people randomly. I do not have control on her behavior and with the situation but certainly has on how i should respond to what had just transpired.

What does the Bible Say about cursing or wrong use of speech? Here are the following verses that reminds me of the purpose of my tongue:

James 3:9-12
9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Luke 6:26-27
26Woe to you when all men speak well of you,
for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

Romans 12:14
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

Romans 12:17-21
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[a]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[b] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.


How then should i respond? The Lord said that i should bless those who curse me. I know it's one tough act to make but thy will be done, not mine.

My prayer:

Lord, may you take the pain away from me and instead be joyful that it's not I who cursed but the one being cursed. Help me to forgive and forget and show kindness and love to that person at all times. I humbly bow before you and seek comfort and healing and that you may bless that person. In Jesus mighty name. AMEN.

Defiance

Typical day starts with selfishness and ends with self-centeredness. My life is now in chaos and i don't even know how to get myself back on track. I envy those who are in the ministry and serving the Lord for He watches over them. I was once passionate and on fire but because i choose to be a carnal Christian then i am now without peace and in distress. Guilt has overshadowed me. I tried to go back in God's loving arms but to no avail. My quiet time and prayer time is inconsistent and i still have the guts to ask for His blessings. No wonder God doesn't answer me. My intentionally contemptuous behavior has separated me from God.

I remember this passage from Hebrews 10: 26-27

"If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."

This is the truth and I am totally devastated by what i have become these past few days. I would practically be ashamed if God will let me watch the flashbacks in my life. There is nothing worth watching for. My life right now can be best described in one word: SINFUL.

Rekindled Romance

After almost 7 months of playing with fire, the damsel in distress has found her way back into the arms of her long lost knight in shining armor. A heart-to-heart talk paved the way for both of us to reconsider our true feelings for each other. No more lies and no more pretensions. Mr. admitted that while he was into two relationships at the same time, he was still thinking of me. I am not flattered with his revelation, i felt cheated and at the same time i felt sorry for the two whom he had for his convenience. Talking about casual relationship with benefits. Enough said, i am glad that my heart has found it's way home.

Started my year not so right.

I haven't taken any time to blog about anything in particular. My last entry was in 2009 and so much has happened on the first quarter of 2010. I started my year not so right, doing things that are really against the will of God. My habitual sins has once again managed to overtake me. The enemy must have been rejoicing with my downfall. To make matters worst, i am conscious that what i did was wrong. My incomprehensible self-centered attitude and lacking in humility adds to my long list of a-must-transformed addictions. The once soulful me is now trying to find one. I am in desperate need of God's help, though i know i have made vows and promises to live a life worthy of His name yet i constantly and consistently defy His word. The life i live now is in contrast to what the Lord has commanded me. What have i done to God's love and grace?