Typical day starts with selfishness and ends with self-centeredness. My life is now in chaos and i don't even know how to get myself back on track. I envy those who are in the ministry and serving the Lord for He watches over them. I was once passionate and on fire but because i choose to be a carnal Christian then i am now without peace and in distress. Guilt has overshadowed me. I tried to go back in God's loving arms but to no avail. My quiet time and prayer time is inconsistent and i still have the guts to ask for His blessings. No wonder God doesn't answer me. My intentionally contemptuous behavior has separated me from God.
I remember this passage from Hebrews 10: 26-27
"If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God."
This is the truth and I am totally devastated by what i have become these past few days. I would practically be ashamed if God will let me watch the flashbacks in my life. There is nothing worth watching for. My life right now can be best described in one word: SINFUL.
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